Month: March 2015

The Love Languages

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

If you’re an adult and you’ve been to couple’s therapy, know a therapist, been in a struggling relationship, watched Oprah or any combination of the above, then you have probably heard of the love languages. I will try to summarize the premise of the 5 love languages. So basically we as human beings can be summed up by the 5 ways we receive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. We each rank these things by level of importance within ourselves based on our own personal needs and here’s the catch, based on your own personal needs you also give. Does that make sense? So, you are more likely to give what you want to receive. So if I want physical touch then I more likely to give physical touch because I will assume that others cherish that as well. Now, because we are all different things don’t work out that way. What I want may not be what you want. You may want acts of service over physical touch, hence confusion in relationships because sometimes people don’t take into consideration what the other person’s needs are. I was speaking with someone and they think this whole exercise is a load of crap and they felt that what their significant other’s love languages were absolutely ridiculous. So, what do you think, load of crap or nah?

As always I think nothing can stand independently. All of the exercises developed like this one are meant to strengthen and develop relationships by opening up a dialogue between two people and ensuring that there is constant communication about each others wants and needs. So, ok we know our love languages, then what we retreat back to our corners and ignore each other. No, we discuss what that looks like and you work at it. And if you find at any point during any type of counseling or open communicating that you are so far apart in your values and expectations that you are living in separate worlds you be honest with yourselves. My two cents.  But no attempts to get to know someone on a deeper level is a load of crap.

What is Love without Respect?

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

A farce!
I knew a lady, twice married who explained her beliefs on marriage. It is a farce or so she believed. A hoax, a transaction between two people where they make a commitment to live together and raise children nothing more nothing less. All that love and honor bs was something cooked up by Disney to sell movie tickets and books. Love is a joke, as soon as people realize that they can go about the business of raising their children. Did I mention she was on marriage número dos? Well husband number 2 listened to her thoughts and kindly told her that unless she wanted to be shopping for number 3, she needed to reflect on her perspective on marriage. Needless to say she did and she is now focused on not living in a farce of a marriage. So what is love without respect? It is a joke, a farce. How often though do you hear or witness the farce take place before your eyes? It’s amazing what happens when you start to lower your expectations of the people you have in your life or the roles of others. Do we expect less from a spouse or a life partner? Do we hold our friends to a higher standard? Maybe that’s why we tolerate no shit from our friends but will forgive our significant others despite a continued lack of respect because we know crappy treatment is to be expected from relationships. Do we just have low expectations from romantic partners? Do we believe that it’s so hard for someone to get it right that we settle for their best shot? Or are we just afraid that if we admit to ourselves that we deserve love and respect that we will have to wait and that means we might be lonely for a little while and super patient? Or, we could always just settle for the farce.
So back to the farce lady, perhaps her beliefs are what led to the demise of her first marriage. Or, maybe they are the result of the bitterness she was left with after buying into the fantasy. The picturesque Disney fairy tale. Who knows? So what’s love without respect? Wellll, that’s not love at all, that’s people playing their roles. So that is a farce, fake it till you make it. So what’s the deal? Why do you need both to have a successful relationship? It’s simple, you ever seen a couple and it’s obvious they can’t stand each other. They both say they love each other but if you ask them if they like each other they both laugh nervously, making the whole shit AWWWKKKWARD. Relationships are hard work people. At the end of the day, if you don’t wholeheartedly like the person you’re with, you’re screwed. Maybe you can hang in there for a while, maybe, but at the end of the day, you have to like each other because some things you have to be able to laugh off and when you don’t like a person their quirks become less and less funny. You’re relationship starts to sink, the cracks begin to show, and it becomes… you guessed it a FARCE 

WTF – Utah’s State Officials approve Firing Squads….

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

Really. …where the fuxk are we living. So Utah State official Ratified Legislation  to approve firing squads as another form of death penalty in the event lethal injection is not available.

So….you mean to tell me we are so eager to kill that if the event the lethal  injection is unavailabe(for whatever reasons)..we cant wait??!!!! Those on death row wait fucking decades …so we cant postpone thier death for a few more days.

What kind of evil fucking straight inhumane kinda of species are we… that we have volunteers  of the commuity sign  to partake in firing squads.    Furthermore, the counter list fill up so fast that they have a fuxking wait list…really?

I swear this country  is morally  fucked.
This shit is crazy. Oh ….the only other state that also has a firing squad as a form kf death penalty  is Oklahoma…..smh…definitely two states i no longer have interest in visiting. Just because ….majority of folks support this sick shit.

Your thoughts.

Glass & Patron

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

Ok so actually being slightly mortified by watching FKA Twigs appear to pull a colorful scarf from her vagina, I forced myself to continue to watch this video. Why? Because, she is Robert Pattinson’s girlfriend. And of course she has to cringe at the thought that people are paying attention to her simply because she is attached to him because after all she had a career prior to meeting and dating him, but as Shonda Rhimes and her writing team so eloquently put it in Scandal last week:

Abby Tells the Truth About Women In Power

Anyway back to this video and the scarf, FKA Twigs does not disappoint as usual because this video is reminiscent of Madonnna in her Hey Day! By no means am I comparing her to Madonna or on that level by any means but as I was watching it all I could say was you “Now hold that pose for me!” Werk!

Crossfire

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

One of the things I enjoy doing is reading. If I’ll can incorporate my partner and some smut or I call it erotic literature so I don’t offend anyone even better. After reading tons of reviews on that multiple shades series and not being the slightest bit intrigued by the thought of a man removing a tampon from a woman’s vagina I stumbled across Sylvia Day’s Crossfire Series. It is a five book series (the fifth book has not been released yet) Captivated by You, Bared to you, Entwined with You, Reflected in You, and One with you . After reading the first book in about a day and a half, I encouraged my buddy to read. You know by going silent for great lengths of time and then sharing excerpts and then saying “you have got to read this shit”. If you like the shades series you would probably like this, reviews from people who have read both say that Sylvia Day is a better writer as E.L. James scored big with Shades being her first books.

Ladies, stop sitting in the corner reading your smut books, not sharing, he likes it too. He is very likely watching porn on his phone while you’re not looking. Open up the dialogue. He has no idea what is going on inside the book you are reading. He will be pleasantly surprised.

Fellas, if your significant other always has her nose in a book and she is blushing, she is reading smut and fantasizing. It’s a great way to spice up your relationship. Talk to each other. 50 Shades of Grey is not a worldwide phenomenon for no reason. Same thing with that movie from 2002,  Unfaithful, with Diane Lane.

Anyway, check the books out if you’re interested. And try adding others, different genres, take turns suggesting, the possibilities are endless.

Have you noticed….

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

That sometimes my posts are a way for me to get a song out of my head… You know how sometimes a song will get stuck in your head and you just keep singing it all day. Well sometimes that happens to me and so I say “Self, shutup!” but after that I think about the lyrics of the song and let er rip so to speak. Does anyone else do that? Yes, I’m aware that I’m random as hell.

Beware the Frenemy

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

Frenemy: one who pretends to be a friend but is an actual an enemy.

You know the one’s, they are always there when you’re life is going to shit. Waiting to rub your back and tell you that it will be alright. But ooh when you are happy, they are there too, grimacing through a smile, wondering how things always seem to turn around for you. While they have seen you at your worst and they may not wish it on you on you, at least that’s what they say. They never expect to see you come out of it or at least not as well as you do. It shocks them and they can’t have but feel a tinge of jealousy because, it’s only natural. Or at least that’s what they tell themselves, those who are conscious enough to recognize it. The others, the true frenemy, begins to work from the inside to tear down your progress because they realize that they don’t like the new dynamic. The one where they are no longer rubbing your back and telling you that you will get through the latest devastation, they must push you back down. Reset things. Beware the frenemy…

I’m Focused Man!

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

Spring has Sprung! Summer will be upon us shortly. If you are like most people you have packed up a few pounds during the cold months, you know in an effort to stay warm, you put on your winter coat. Now it’s time to shed that winter coat….. Wrong! If you’re like me and try to be umm healthy year round, it’s time to get that last-minute toning and tanning in before you let your skin breathe in the warm air. So yes the months of push ups, crunches, squats, clean eating that you’ve been doing all year-long are about to pay off because while everyone is tucking their belly fat into their pants, you are taking your cardigan off, pulling out the sundress (Yes, because it’s sundress season) and not worrying about anything flapping. So what do you do if you got a late start, if krispy kreme is really close to your house, or taco bell, or chipotle, because we all know a burrito from chipotle is 1200 calories, right, if you don’t stop kidding yourself. Step one: STOP eating, put down what you’re eating right now and stop it. Chips are not a major food group. If they’re baked it doesn’t matter they’re still potato chips. Stop eating all crap. Think before you put things in your mouth. Are you bored, sad, horny, thirsty? Do you have an oral fixation? Seriously? Do you eat because you’re depressed and then get depressed because you’ve gained weight? Think about it. Step two: develop a rotation of healthy meals and snacks, do not stray from those, prep your meals. Step three: Cut out every beverage except water unless you drink coffee, caffeine withdrawal is real, so back yourself of coffee slowly, do try to decrease your creamer and sugar though. Step four: Exercise, exercise, exercise. While you’re watching tv, get up, move around, jog in place, do squats, just don’t sit.

Why do women friend zone men?

Posted on by pinkyandthebrain04

Hey….this question is directed to the female Ponderers.
Please comment and share as i would love to get some insight.

Question : Why do women friendzone good men to date a guy that’s bad for them,  only to try and change him into the guy they friendzoned ??

Please answer/ Comment.